What if your dreams aren’t too big… but your thinking has become too small? There is a point in a woman’s life when she has to stop and ask herself a difficult question:
Am I actually creating the life I want — or have I become really good at explaining why I can’t?
Maybe it’s the job.
Maybe it’s the relationship.
Maybe it’s the children.
Maybe there’s never enough time.
Maybe everyone needs you.
Maybe you’re waiting until things settle down.
Maybe you’re waiting for someone else to make you feel happier, more loved, more connected or more alive.
And perhaps there is some truth in all of those things.Life can be demanding.Relationships can be complicated.Children can be exhausting.Work can consume us.
But there comes a point where we have to ask ourselves something different:
What am I doing about it?
Not what is everyone else doing.
Not who is to blame.
Not when will someone finally understand me.
What am I choosing?
Because nobody else can take responsibility for the life you are living.And that isn’t a criticism.It’s actually where your power begins.
Are you living inside a smaller version of yourself?
Women have been given so many roles to carry.
Mother Wife.
Partner Lover.
Businesswoman.
Carer
Daughter.
Friend.
And somewhere along the way, some women become so focused on being everything to everyone else that they stop asking who they are for themselves. They become experts at coping.Getting through the day.Keeping everyone happy.Doing what needs to be done.Putting themselves last.
And then one day they wonder:
Where did I go?
Maybe your life looks perfectly acceptable from the outside.
But inside, you know there is more.More creativity.More adventure.More freedom.More connection.More honesty.More possibility.
More you.
So why aren’t you moving towards it?
The loop is often smaller than the dream.
This is the part I want you to get curious about. Perhaps your dream isn’t the problem. Perhaps your thinking has become smaller than your desire.
You want to start something — but immediately think: “I couldn’t do that.”
You want to speak up — but think: “What will they think?”
You want to change direction — but think: “It’s too late.”
You want more from your life — but think: “I should be grateful for what I’ve got.”
You want to put yourself first — but think: “Everyone needs me.”
You want connection — but wait for someone else to make you feel less lonely.
You want happiness — but keep looking outside yourself for something to change.
And so the loop continues. Thought → feeling → behaviour → familiar result.
Then we tell ourselves: “That’s just the way things are. “But is it? Or is it simply the pattern you’ve become used to?
There is only one way to avoid criticism…
Elbert Hubbard said:
“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”
Read that again.
Because stepping into a bigger version of your life means you might be criticised.
Someone might disagree. Someone might not understand. Someone might prefer the version of you who always said yes. Someone might question your choices.
And you might even question yourself.
But if avoiding criticism means staying quiet, staying comfortable and staying small…what is that comfort costing you? Being brave doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid. It means you stop allowing fear to make every decision.
Being bold doesn’t mean having all the answers. It means being willing to take the next step before you know exactly where it will lead.
Stop waiting for your life to change.
This isn’t about blaming yourself. It’s about taking your responsibility back.
Your circumstances may not be your fault. Your past may not have been your choice. People may have disappointed you. You may have spent years putting other people first. But there is a difference between blame and responsibility.
Blame looks backwards. Responsibility asks: “What am I going to do now?”
You don’t have to wait for the perfect job. You don’t have to wait until the children are easier. You don’t have to wait until someone finally gives you permission.
You don’t have to wait for someone else to fill the loneliness. You don’t have to wait until you feel completely confident.
And you don’t have to wait for Monday.
You can start by becoming curious about the thoughts that have been running your life.
What if growth is the missing piece?
Maybe the question isn’t:
“What’s wrong with my life?”
Maybe it’s: “Where am I ready to grow?”
Growth can be uncomfortable. Because growth asks us to question things we’ve believed for years.
It asks us to notice our patterns, to recognise the stories we tell ourselves, to acknowledge where we’ve been playing small, to speak honestly, to take responsibility, to make different choices.
And sometimes…to disappoint people.
But growth also creates something incredibly powerful choice. The choice to say no.
The choice to say yes.
The choice to leave.
The choice to stay.
The choice to speak.
The choice to ask.
The choice to begin.
The choice to stop waiting.
See the Pattern. Stop the Loop.
This is the heart of the eight-week program I’m creating for women who know there is more for them, but can’t quite name what is getting in the way.
Together we’ll explore:
* The patterns you keep repeating.
* The beliefs underneath them.
* The needs you’ve been ignoring.
* The values you actually want to live by.
* The thoughts that keep making your world smaller.
* The things you want to say but haven’t.
*And most importantly – What you want to choose differently.
Because I don’t believe women need another program telling them how they should live. I believe women need space to stop, think, question and discover what is actually true for them.
To find their voice. To reconnect with themselves. And to become willing to take responsibility for the life they want to create. For more information contact me on 0421483338
Perhaps your first step is simply to pause.
On Saturday, 24 October, Patricia Hamilton, Jacquie Walker from Conscious Living Magazine, and I are bringing women together for a one-day experience designed to do exactly that.
Pause. Reflect. Reconnect.
A day to step away from the noise.
To become curious about what is really going on beneath the surface.
To explore the patterns that may be influencing your choices.
To reconnect with yourself.
And perhaps, most importantly, to take that first step towards the changes you’ve been thinking about.
You don’t need to have it all figured out you don’t need to know exactly what you want, you simply need to be willing to pause long enough to ask yourself some better questions.
Because sometimes the beginning of transformation isn’t knowing the answer.
Book now for our early bird discount
https://retreats.consciousliving.net.au/womens-retreats/
It’s finally being brave enough to ask the question.
What do I really want?
What has been holding me back?
And what am I willing to do differently?
Maybe it’s time to see the pattern.
Maybe it’s time to stop the loop.
Maybe it’s time to take your life back into your own hands.
Be kind to yourself, listen to your heart and be true
with love Deb.
