Embrace the hidden part of you!
Vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, but exploring it more deeply reveals itself as something powerful, courageous, and transformative. It exposes parts of ourselves we typically try to hide, the aspects we might not be comfortable with or particularly fond of.
The tendency to conceal those vulnerable parts of ourselves is often rooted in childhood experiences or beliefs that were instilled in us early on. These experiences may have led us to suppress certain areas of our personalities, while we nurtured the parts where we felt strong, confident, or successful, whether in art, sports, or academics. This coping mechanism becomes a way to survive.
How Vulnerability Affects Adulthood
These early decisions to hide or suppress parts of ourselves can have a lasting impact in adulthood. Take, for instance, a boy who was told that “boys don’t cry.” As a man, he may struggle to show emotion or allow himself to cry, effectively blocking his ability to be vulnerable and sensitive. Similarly, a girl who might have grown up in a home where her brothers or a dominant father bullied or dismissed her feelings may grow into a woman who finds it difficult to be vulnerable in intimate relationships. She might be able to express love and care, but the connection at deeper levels could trigger feelings of vulnerability, which she instinctively avoids. These defence mechanisms were initially put in place to protect and shield us from hurt, criticism, or emotional pain. However, what was once a form of childhood protection can become a barrier to living authentically as adults.
Breaking Through Old Patterns
The decisions we make as children, often unconsciously, can continue to shape our lives in adulthood. Unfortunately, these old patterns usually result in negative consequences, blocking us from expressing our authentic selves. As adults, we make decisions every day. Some are trivial, while others hold more weight. Often, the decisions we make now are influenced by choices we made in the past, especially those tied to our vulnerabilities. When faced with confusion or moments of inner conflict, our choices in these vulnerable moments can either reinforce old habits or help us grow into more authentic versions of ourselves. By consciously embracing vulnerability, we can develop the strength and confidence to make better decisions. Vulnerability becomes a doorway to self-love, courage, and personal pride.
A Tool for Self-Reflection: The Thought Diary
One effective way to explore your vulnerability and begin to heal is through a Thought Diary. Here’s a simple guide on how to use it:
1 Write down an event or thought that makes you feel uncomfortable or exposes a part of yourself you usually hide.
2 Ask yourself:
What was I thinking in that moment?
What was I saying to myself?
What part of me felt uncomfortable?
3 Record how you felt. Did you feel anxious, vulnerable, annoyed?
4 Examine your thoughts. Are these feelings realistic, or are they habitual reactions? What evidence supports them? Take your time here. We often have blind spots that prevent us from seeing the truth. But if you dig deeper, you may have an “Aha!” moment when everything clicks, and you realise why you react in certain ways.
5 Now write down new thoughts, emotions, and beliefs that empower you. These should free you from the limitations of your past vulnerabilities.
By practising this exercise regularly, you’ll start to bring clarity to the parts of yourself you’ve been suppressing. Through vulnerability, you allow new light and self-awareness to enter your life. And with that awareness comes a more authentic, empowered version of you.
By practising this exercise regularly, you’ll start to bring clarity to the parts of yourself you’ve been suppressing. Through vulnerability, you allow new light and self-awareness to enter your life. And with that awareness comes a more authentic, empowered version of you.
BRINGING YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF BACK TO YOUR SOUL
LOVE DEB
